March 8, 2010

Make those memories - Guest post from Rasha

Dear Chrystal,

I understand that when you asked me to do a guest post, you were meaning for your readers. Yet, this post is more for you (and a little bit me... I could use the reminder). You're an incredible person and I am so glad I've met you. You make me smile when I have every reason not too. You're the pea to my pod. I understand that what you're going through is very heartbreaking, but just remember that I am here for you. Always. No one can understand what it feels like to lose someone, until they have. I wasn't given the chance, when I lost my Daddy, to say goodbye or prepare for it. I wasn't given the chance to make the most of my time, to hold on to him, to say I love you every night. Take advantage of that. Hold on tight to those times, turn them into beautiful memories you can store away, from the hard days that are bound to come. I won't say it gets easier to deal with it. I was told that, and it's far from true... but I will tell you this:

Everyday, I am reminded that I am missing something. I am reminded that I have lost a huge part of me. I am reminded that I am not whole. That I will never be whole. That no one can fill that empty space inside me. That no matter how much I try, I will never be completely and one hundred percent complete without him.

As I said before: it does not get easier with time. It gets manageable. More than half my life, I have been managing (if you could call it that) how to cope with it. Some days are better than others. and I know you can agree with me, because we've already talked about our other losses.

I will tell you my secret though:

I think we are the lucky ones. We will always, no matter what, have an Angel by our side. Constantly, to help us guide our choices, decision ands actions. To watch over your adorable kids and your beautiful self. My father is with me every second of my life, and that's more than I can ask for.

Hold on tight sweetie. Let her know how much you love her. Cry with her. Write down all her recipes. Take in her smell. Create those memories so that you have nothing to regret, and only the good to hold on to.

I love you. I'm here for you when you need me. 
I love you. You're the pea to my pod.

<3 Rasha


Rasha said...

I love you sweetie!

carrie1 said...

Rasha I <3 this! =)

ChloƩ said...

rasha, this was such a sweet post.. you are such a great friend. and Chrystal? I am soo sorry for your loss! i will keep you in my thoughts and prayers!